In the Beginning

As posted on facebook on April 7th, this is to catch everyone up and it marks the beginning of this journey

I will try to just give the readers digest version of this so I don't bore everyone that knows whats been going on lol

I was diagnosed T2 about a year and a half ago, at that time I had been a non smoker for about 3 months and I had thought all the symptoms I was having was from quitting smoking after 20 years...I was wrong, it was the diabetes symptoms showing up full force (as a joke I tell everyone I quit smoking and got diabetes). I spend a year trying to get regulated, trying different amounts of metformin, etc.

Fast forward a year (last November) My labs came back really weird and I was having really strange symptoms, 8 pound weight gains and losses literally overnite, extreme stomach pains right behind my belly button, hypos as soon as I ate anything. C-Peps came back extremely high at 34 and high insulin levels, almost 200. My doctor, bless her heart, after running the labs 3 times to confirm, tells me we are going to have to do a CT Scan to test for an insulinoma (which is very rare tumor for a diabetic to develop) or possible pancreatic cancer.

Now, my Dave was out in California working (we live right outside Atlanta) for his job for all of November and December (few days home for thanksgiving and back a few days before christmas). So of course Im trying to deal with all of this calmly and not let him know Im freaking out, because he simply can't come home and he didnt need to be out there fretting every day over my emotional state. It took a few weeks to get the CT because my insurance wanted it referred from an Endo, so I had to find one. Due to all the stress and finding out that me and diabetes and alcohol do not make a happy threesome, I had started back smoking, but no where near as heavy as I was previously (yes, I know thats a bad justification).


They told me there was a very low chance the insulinoma (tumor) would show up but they would try. They were right, didnt show up, but neither did cancer. Now that we know its not cancer I just have to deal with the insulin dumps the tumor causes (isnt it great to have something your body already cant handle, dumped in mass quantities into yourself?) and have another scan this coming fall to see if its gotten big enough to see (they cant do surgery until they know where it is). Honestly, Im ok with that, now that I know what it is and what to look for etc.

Fast forward to this week. I did my first post diagnosis hike (2 miles) and was feeling awesome about it. I quit smoking, sunday was the last day (after spending weeks cutting back) (Im using NRT in the way of lozenges). Yay me, right? I guess in a way, but the last 2 1/2 days have been awful. Every single time I eat, no matter what kind of carb it is my sugar jumps to between 200-300, Im so tired I can barely keep my eyes open all day (which is how I get when my numbers go up, so thats no surprising), Im bloated beyond anything PMS ever did to me, even though Im peeing every 20 minutes and Im just so depressed I cant stand it, Im on the verge of tears or ripping someones head off every minute.

When my doctor and I were talking/planning about me quitting smoking again I begged him for something I could do to keep the weight gain I experienced last time from happening (I had been VERY good, only had raw veggies as snack, I lived with celery in my hands lol). He told me there really wasnt anything I could do because my metabolism was gonna change and slow down a LOT. He said the only things he could recommend were the things I'd done last time... at least 30 minutes of exercise per day, snacking on healthy stuff and to start taking a B Complex vitamin (I didnt try that before but I am now).

Now, even my doctor says my diet is good, I managed to lower my cholesterol 41 points in a year with no meds, and I managed to get off the weight I gained by quitting last time, but that was all, with the insulin dumps it makes it almost impossible to lose weight, and Im terrified whats going to happen this time, which isnt helping my mood any. I'm one of the unlucky ones that has never gotten past one of the metformin side effects... I still have to be near a bathroom within 15 minutes after eating or it will be embarrassing, and even despite THAT I can't get the weight off.

I know NOT smoking is supposed to be good for me, but I swear it doesnt feel like it to me right now.

I havent felt like this since the day I was diagnosed, I really really honestly feel I'm back at square one.